Dear Meera:

You are welcome. “I am not sure, if it is possible to change yourself completely”- I don’t think that it is possible for a person to change oneself completely, but it is possible to completely stop mistreating another person.

It is possible to feel angry and not act on it. You can’t stop yourself from feeling angry, and when you feel angry, you can’t stop yourself from automatically looking and sounding angry (the muscles automatically tighten so the face looks angry, the voice quality automatically changes), but you can stop right there and not do the following things: yell, call names, humiliate a person, hit a person, break things, etc.).

In other words: don’t aim at no longer feeling angry, aim at managing your behavioral response to the feeling.

I wonder where your anger comes from, if it has something to do with how your parents treated you or each other.

anita