Dear Anita,

Thank you so much for taking the time to check and think about my previous thread as well. You may be right, though I hate to hear that I am uptight like my mother. I am trying to open up for new experiences romantically and sexually, it is an effort for me. This is why I get confused when I come up with something I am not familiar with.

As for this guy, I knew that he wanted just sex and I wanted with him too. But I think I couldn’t handle it light-heartedly. When I feel connected and attracted to someone, I can’t take things lightly. Maybe I am not the type for casual things. Half of this drama is because of the lockdown mindset. The other half is maybe me building up expectations. I am thinking, if we would be able to see each other more often, would I still care this much about him?  Am I always exaggerating these things ? Or do we call it passion? How do people deal with ambiguity with hookups and sex? What did I do wrong, so that I even lost the casual hookup with him?

Don’t want to take all the blame on me, because I can be hard with myself.  I don’t regret this story but I want to take a lesson then move on.