Dear Carrie:

“So, moving forward I’ve already contacted a therapist to seek  online support and I will look to contacting my ex to see if he even wants to talk. Wish me luck! And again, thank you”-

– you are welcome, and I do wish you and your ex luck, as you resume your relationship or not. I agree that “to want to reconcile with him straight away would not be fair to him”, or healthy for you. You feel that you owe him an explanation- you have the option of offering him that explanation in an email, a thoughtful, attentive email which you can put together at your convenience, give it all the time you need, editing it over time,  so that the result is honest and true.

anita