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Reply To: Am I asking too much?

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#363144
Carol
Participant

Hi Anita,

emotional day today. He’s been very open and explained his last relationship of 10 years left him in a bad place (that was 5 years ago). It seems she ended it completely out of the blue and he found life difficult for sometime. He feels he’s built a protective shield since then that he doesn’t know how to take down. He loves me, can’t see him loving anyone else and doesn’t want to lose me.

He feels he has commitment issues. He feels like he doesn’t want to die alone! Yet can’t quite connect the dots. He’s asked if I will stay with him if he gets counselling to try and work out what he wants.

he is going to buy the apartment but is open to saying he doesn’t know what will happen with us and perhaps he could sell it but he feels he can’t not buy this after just a 6 month relationship.

this feels hard. I feel like it’s hard to find a connection with someone, he ticks all my boxes, except one – he doesn’t know what he wants from life/this relationship but is willing to go to counselling to work though issues he feels are preventing him from knowing. I feel like I’d regret not staying with him to explore if this could work – I might meet another man who wants a family, but they might not have the qualities this man does, or love me like he does, I might not meet another man At all!
but I do worry how things would feel in another 6 months if he decides he doesn’t want a family and what the relationship would feel like moving forward – I’d just be waiting for him to decide knowing it could go either way.
Oh how I wish life felt simpler at times!