Dear Rae:

“Who quits after 20 years???”- many people, even after 30 years.

“This blows my mind, it is like a death.. I finally have accepted this is real, that maybe this is a gift to me”- do you mean that you feel better now, that it no longer blows you mind, that it no longer feels like death, or less so?

“(he) says we are not fixable”- do you think that he will change his mind, that he realizes perhaps that this is just his mid life crisis?

(I ask because I want to understand your situation better).

anita