Dear Lily:

You are welcome. “Gladly, I know myself better now. And next time I meet someone, I will do things at my own pace and set boundaries. I very much hope that I will be able to do that in real life!”- I am confident that you are able. I know that you are not the same person that you were then. You were good then and you are good now, but you were ignorant then, but you are aware and informed now.

No doubt ending it with K was a good choice. Here is the evidence: “Only after getting away from this situation I was able to become calm again, become myself again”. Your guilt about him is not justified, it’s fueled by old beliefs, not by reality. In reality you did not harm him.

“About not getting into hurtful relationships again: the key to this is staying true to myself and being authentic. Not trying to please others!.. And I  know exactly what I want in a relationship. The most important thing for me is to get to know someone slowly.. I have to respect myself first”- beautifully said.

I am smiling right now as I just had an image of you in a relationship, a healthy one.

anita