Thank you Anita for your support and insight.

I’m not sure about his love. I don’t feel it. As you said, he is not a bad person, at all, and I have a deep respect for some of his qualities that I don’t have myself. But things are going pretty bad at the moment, I mean bad regarding what we had before. He still calls everyday, and we don’t have much to say to each other, it feels forced and not natural at all, which makes me sad. The rest of the time, he puts his phone on airplane mode or leave my texts on read for a while, which never happened before. I’m not sure if he is losing interest, being depressed to be alone at his home or if he is just checking out of the relationship without having the courage to break up. He was supposed to do stuff last week and also to ask for a passport, he didn’t do anything.

Things are really bad and stressful at my parents’ place and because I’m under quarantine, I’m just stuck there, helpless. I’ve tried to talk to him about that, seeking his usual support and gentleness, but he got cold and changed the topic. I really feel like I’m losing him, and I’m feeling extremely lonely and vulnerable.

I know I should just end it but each time I see his smile on our video chat, I can’t. Even though I feel like I deserve to be loved and cared for on a permanent basis, not when it’s convenient for him.

I’m sorry I’m just ranting. I should be braver and end it.