Dear Rose of Yellow.

Thank you for sharing that story. It really helps put things in perspective. I always thought if I loved a man so much I wouldn’t care if I had to take care of him in his old age. But that story shows you can end up angry with your life choices. Consider it a cautionary tale.

And yes, like your boss, I craved the attention of an older man. But really, who doesn’t want attention?

So what is the age gap “limit” which you can both can be partners? 15 years? 10 years? 5 years? I have considered having an age gap friendship, preferably with a woman. I like to think of it like a lioness with her cub. She’d protect me whilst I grew physically/emotionally. But I digress.

I asked this question with Anita: is it okay to be in an age gap relationship if it’s a one night stand/hookup/fling? I know older people sleep with younger people to capture the youth they lost. Personally, I want this relationship to gain the time/life experiences I’ve yet to encounter. And yes, the older person would want to financially abuse the younger person. Yes, there are so many cards stacked against the relationship. So we’re simply not compatible, no matter how hard we try? So we shouldn’t bother forming a relationship? I know it’s delusional, but I consider his “baggage” to be more of an asset than a liability. It adds “character” to the man. Personally, I’d rather look at a yellowing piece of paper with tears and ink stains /mistakes on them than a plain white sheet of paper.

Look, I know I’m crazy, but even I know what Epstein did was sick. 🤢 And on that note, just here to remind you that he didn’t kill himself. In all seriousness, I know you and Anita are head and shoulders over me when it comes to life experiences. I owe a lot to you two. Plus, I can’t wait to find more about myself. Though I know it will be scary, it will be just as exciting. I know trying to “relive” the father-daughter relationship I’ve always wanted is not ideal. What is ideal is “inner core valuing of self, your self love, and spiritual principles.” Then the ideal partner will show up.

Yes, having a broken partner will lead to a broken relationship. But in all honesty, every time you push (i.e. talk against an age gap romance) I keep pulling (i.e. want to be in one even more). But really, I’m just stubborn in nature. I shouldn’t throw your advice out the window. I know you two want me to not make mistakes. Ultimately, the mistakes I make will lie on me. That’s just life, I guess. 🤷‍♀️