Dear Lula:

You refer to this man as your “best friend”. But there is something very wrong with this friendship.

“He know nothing about my struggles to keep this friendship”- a true friend knows about his/ her friend’s struggles.

“He used to talk with me the way a guy talks with his gf in a romantic way… Even after his ex came back he still used to talk  to me in that romantic way.. I used to tell him to stop talking with me like that, it’s not right talking with a friend like this when you have a gf! He was like okay, I won’t again.. But he used to do it again and again.. and now I am tired of making him understand”-

– a true friend understands and respects what his friend says. He listens to her, he cares. He doesn’t want to hurt his friend.

This man heard you, but he didn’t care to take what you told him seriously. He didn’t respect your request that he doesn’t speak to you romantically.

“For several months I thought he fooled me because the way he talked with me showed that he loves me and wants to be with me… He never thought at my side that I could fall  for him if he talks with me like that”-

How do you know that he never thought that you could fall for him if he talked with you romantically?

It is likely that he wanted you to fall for him, it  is likely that he could see in your eyes and hear in your voice, or sensed it in your words that you were falling for him, and it made him feel good. It is possible that as he talks to you about his girlfriend, he can see some jealousy and hurt in your eyes, hear it in your voice and he enjoys it.

“he fooled me”- I agree. He used you to make himself feel good (feel wanted/desired/adored).

What do you when you realize that you were fooled do in a relationship?

anita

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