Hi John. Your list of culprits are nearly identical to my own. I’m trying to be creative,( although forcing myself would be a more honest) Other people tell me I’m my own worst enemy. With my long list of reasons to live in my insular world. Like most people I would love to have more confidence self esteem, but over the years I’ve lost both. I get invited out by family and friends.I’ll mostly go along, only to find I’m observing not participating. I allow no one to build a close relationship with me for fear of history repeating itself. I also have some mental health issues, which results in my self contained fortress always being guarded . Today after reading many helpful posts on Tiny Buddha forum, I’ve decided if while walking my dog Freddy , someone stops to say hi or fuss him I’m going to take pleasure being in the now. Thank you for sharing. It makes so much difference Knowing many of us are experiencing similar situations