I think Jeff has some great points.

It seems to me that you can’t have him in your life the way you feel about him right now and that a break would do you a great deal of good.

I think you have to focus not on having a life without him, but what your life might be like if you keep putting all your energy into sustaining this relationship and keeping him in your life.

From the little that you have told me, he seems somewhat selfish and immature. You’ve already told us he is unfocused and doesn’t know what he wants from life. If he is 8 years older then you he must be approaching 30 which is pretty old to be so directionless. Those sort of characteristics are easier to tolerate when you are young and have lots of opportunities ahead of you, as you do, but they are a nightmare when you are older and you want a partner who will settle down or even marry and have children.

Perhaps instead of viewing this situation as loosing someone you love, look at it as letting go of a painful situation in order to find someone that you can build a proper life with. Maybe you could try viewing it as a process of removing obstacles for a more positive future.

I hope that you find some peace of mind with this situation.