Dear Rach:

You are welcome, and no need to be sorry for the long post- it is not long to me. I am not the author of the blogs you mentioned, by the way, my only activity is this lovely website is in these Forums, being a member, just like you (but a very active member, for over 5.5 years).

You shared that you are still not relaxed, that you are afraid that he will leave you, afraid that he compares you with his ex girlfriend (G); afraid that he will think that you are boring and go back to G, and that’s why you tend to choose your words in such a way as to compete with G, “to be more interesting or more funny” than her.

You shared that your boyfriend expressed to you that he thinks that you are insecure, and that he doesn’t understand why you “can’t let go and why (you) still have insecurities”, he “doesn’t understand where this insecurity comes from”-

– It may help to figure out what he doesn’t understand: your fears/  insecurity. It is understandable that a woman is afraid that her boyfriend will leave her because breakups do exist (and already existed, in the relationship with him). But, if your boyfriend is reasonably honest and dependable (which seems to be the case, from what you shared), then you being consumed with fear that he will leave probably has to do with your childhood.

“I don’t know how to heal myself… I don’t want to lose him and I don’t want to be a burden to someone because of my insecurities”. Perhaps if you understand your fear/ insecurities better, you will be able to lessen and lessen the fear/ insecurities, and feel more and more peace and confidence.

You wrote: “I am someone with family issues, with a lot of obligations”- if you want to, please elaborate on that, explain what you mean by family issues, and when/ how these issues came to be?

anita