Sammy,

Yep you’re right. The job is wearing me down. I’m just in over my head. In some ways I feel trapped and don’t know what to do. It’s a big job with a good salary and can’t see an alternative coming up anytime soon.

The huge amount of stress the job is creating is also eating a little into my relationship. Distance is hard enough but the job is swamped even a lot of my ‘free time’ too and I’m trying to prioritise and make time for BF but then my family gets upset or my friends miss out. It’s never ending.

But then again, I never thought I’d be in this position. Who would have thought?! Oh and the ex texted me for my bday – I expected him to if I’m being honest. It seems to be that the rawness went and now it’s just replaced with ‘ok whatever’. I used to go out with that ok. That’s it.

anyway, how are you doing? I’m so glad to hear that you chose to get some family support while you heal and adjust to this next phase of your life. You have so much strength – well done on fighting the crutches. You should be proud of yourself.

I wanted so badly to know when I would be ‘better’ or when I would be feel joy and love and excitement again (truthfully I didn’t think it was possible), but I asked people/therapist endlessly.
no-one could give me an answer.

And I don’t know when it happened exactly, and there have been bumps but I guess you could say almost two years. That’s how long it took my to move to a different space in my life I guess. It’s different for everyone and I doubt I was half as strong as I expect you can be.

well done you on making the decision about your ex, that can’t have been easy but you made the hard decision and that in itself is pure growth. Well done – you’re getting there. Each day, step by step. One hour at a time, growing and becoming the person you want to be.

I hope you had a chance to get out for some fresh air lately, it works wonders. I’m missing my daily 5kms now, I’ve put on a lot of weight too and it’s bugging me, but almost impossible to continue my old routine in this new job.

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas too. Enjoy the love and support of family (even if they drive us nuts!!). You’re doing so well ya know.