Dear Lisa:

Second Part, My Understanding of Lisa, 2- A Very Rough Life

Your last post on your Alone thread was on January 1, 2019. Two weeks later, you started this thread, Choosing Love, with much enthusiasm.  On Jan 15-17, 2019, you wrote: “I want to start this new thread to open myself up to the truth about why I am alone and what I can do to change that… I want to change my thought patterns… what I want more than anything is clarity. I want to realize what my thoughts that I grew up with were, and whether or not they are really what was/ is going on?.. Developing a healthy relationship with love is my goal this year…  am embarking on my journey starting tomorrow on everything I need to work on… I am trying something different”.

Two months and twenty days later, on April 7, 2019, you were still excited about your journey: “I have been doing very well and have a lot more energy. I am also following an eating disorder app that has helped me before and is really helping me again… I have also rewritten my goals again. So many to work on… I am being extremely mindful of my choices… Drinking water too!.. feeling good about my eating habits right now”.

The next time you posted was seven months and 19 days later, on Nov 26, 2019: “I wanted so badly for this to be a positive thread… I am so depressed right now and the bullies are right there with their smiles and happy to see me sad. The worst part is the good people that love me somehow support these bullies”

My input today: You grew up very much Alone. In the world of your very rough childhood there were two kinds of people: (1) people who bullied you and (2) people who allowed the bullies to bully you. In the real world of your childhood, there was no one on your side, no one to attend to you and protect you. You were indeed Alone, defenseless and powerless.

As an adult, you still live in the same kind of world: there are two kinds of people, those who bully you and those who allow the bullies to bully you. You feel Alone, defenseless and powerless.

You pride yourself on being a strong, independent woman who speaks her mind, a feminist and a rebel, like Madonna the celebrity. But the bullies attack you for the very thing you are proud of. They want you weak. They want to rob you of your independent spirit, to silence you into polite submission.

The question is, in your adult world, are there really only two kinds of people?

Nazi Germany comes to mind. There were two kinds of Germans at the time: (1) The Nazis who murdered millions of the people in concentration camps and (2) Germans who knew about it and did not object.

But there was a third kind of Germans at the time: (3) Germans who had no choice but to be soldiers in Hitler’s army and fight wars where they died.. and (4) Germans who risked their lives hiding Jews in their homes so to save them from the Nazis…and (5) Germans who really did not know what was happening because they were mentally ill… Perhaps you can think of other groups.

Is there a third group of people in your world, Lisa?

A person cannot be Alone for too long without getting sick. Find that third group of people  and you will no longer be Alone.

anita