Hello Anita,

Thank you so much for your reply.

I opened my heart adequately to my close friends and these relationships are very good for me. My aim in getting to know this girl was firstly out of curiosity- she is kind of a person I wouldn’t normally meet in life or socialise with. Although I knew she was deeply troubled, I felt like i could handle it. And mostly I did handle her well. i think the problem was that i got attached to her. Also, I felt very sorry for her until i realised

1)all the stories she tells me are purely her perspective on what happened

2) she has a strong tendency to victimise herself and be a “martyr”. Kind of thinking -all this pain is happening to me for a reason, I love it, life is so harsh, but I am a fighter”. Whereas in reality, as an observer i saw actually and factually she is the one who causes herself so much pain as she lives in her head too much. and doesn’t want to break away from this cycle. All her problems are in her head, and not outside or in any external evil forces or people

So what bothered me is that I saw all these things and couldn’t speak up. I didn’t know how to tell her these as over time i started caring about her and getting attached. i guess i wanted to open up my heard and that i did 🙂 now, the reason why i posted this is because i want to be able to have a way/strategy to remain open with people but at the same time not get so attached in an unhealthy way, but a healthy way. I was looking for an advice to build healthy friendships even with not always 100% stable people.