It hurts to accept that but perhaps you are right.

A friend of mine was telling me yesterday that when a man decides something there are a lot of things involved… They consider each aspect… And he decided to let you go… Because you were not irreplaceable in his eyes. He felt he can find someone better than you. Someone with less complications and less baggage. It hurt me so much but i think he was right as well. I need to accept the fact that it wasn’t his confusion, I actually didn’t suit him or his situation.

Maybe It was all in my head… He did love me initially but then he stopped. He couldn’t for some unknown reason and still couldn’t let me go… Perhaps habit as he often said that if we stop talking for sometime with no contact, we might move on easily.

But the genuine emotions which motivate trust and honest conversations were gone due to our breaks.

When we met, I could feel him struggling to talk to me but he could not open up. He had a hard time deciding if he should talk to me about things troubling his head or not. The constant state of emotional instability was present and his eyes spoke of the pain his head received because of this.

I don’t know whether it is my intuition or just my imagination but I feel it when he is troubled and I haven’t felt him ease down for a long long time. He is doing well at his workplace but getting that job or starting a different kind of work- Someone else would have been so excited but he wasn’t. He eased a tiny bit but the happiness that comes from success… He wasn’t able to feel it as well because he was so troubled internally. And I can still sense him when I calm my own self.

I want to feel hopeless in this situation, that will be the only way I can stop thinking of all this perhaps. Because God knows why each time we stop talking, I feel it in my heart that he will come back and we will talk again. He said he could feel it too- a weird intuition that we will speak again. But I think it is this feeling or hope perhaps which created a loop and disturbed us both.

He often complained that his mind was very complex and so nobody can understand him. I think he also caged himself like I did and because of that we never let anyone else in our minds except one another.  Tell me your thoughts – Anita and teaK

*I read initial lines of the thread but I don’t want to read further, it is someone who needs help and perhaps my interference would not be good. I won’t read that thread and just focus on solving my issues.