Dear Charlie:

Welcome back! Would you rather I address you as Charlotte?

It is interesting that your first post here was on April 18, 2016- tomorrow it will be exactly five years from that first post.

The topic of your thread today is anxiety about raising your son in an era of mass shooting, a very relevant issue in the U.S., unfortunately.

A short recap regarding your anxiety: you previously shared that your anxiety has been life long. On June 26, 2020, when your son was 17 months, you shared: “My anxiety since becoming a mother hit record heights”. You also shared that the thought of taking care of your son and having a second child, (something you considered at the time), “sends me into a panic attack every time”. You saw a therapist at the time and addressed “all the fears I have about pregnancy, childbirth, newborn age (as well as concerns I have over the state of the world and country)”.

On August 12, 2020, you shared regarding your anxiety over the unfortunate U.S. political situation at the time: “My husband is from England and his family.. are all over there. Sometimes I wonder why I’m still here when we could be there.. But moving won’t fix things”.

My thoughts today: (1) If you move to Europe, your anxiety will not be gone because it’s been part of your experience since early on in your life.

(2) There are significant problems in Europe too, politically and otherwise, that affect children’s safety there. You can research those problems and compare Europe to the U.S., in regard to children’s safety.

(3) Your son is only 2, there are about four years before he attends elementary school, before school mass shooting is a possibility to consider.

(4) Mass shooting does not happen only in schools, a recent supermarket shooting comes to mind. You can research and come up with the statistics of mass shootings in schools and outside of school and figure out the chances of your son being affected for the next 4 years or so vs after.

(5) If you are still working with abused and neglected youth, as an attorney, taking on “the healer/ helper position pretty often”- then you are helping the very people who are more likely to participate in school shootings. I wonder if you can volunteer to talk to students in schools on the matter, and make more of a difference.

anita