Felix

Sorry for not being helpful. I very much relate to your difficulty and struggle with the ‘two worlds’  we all live in – Accepting of myself as while having to deal with a ‘corporatist’ world.  I am bigger then big and smaller then small. How to engage with the latter while being authentic to former.  Is it possible to be ‘of the world and separate’ which is also contained within the ‘still point’.

We contradict and work against ourselves, wishing for self acceptance (contentment) while not being able to take our eyes off the ‘corporatist’ influence others have over us.  I’m pretty sure that until I find away to Accept Life as it is and say Yes to it as it is, I will never be content or be able to accept of myself as I am.

I’ve always liked the Song ‘The Riddle” by Five for Fighting. I thing it holds many truths

There was a man back in ’95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him
Wait, what’s the sense in life?
Come over me, come over me

He said
Son, why you gotta sing that tune?
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see, you will see

Then he said
Here’s a riddle for you
Find the answer
There’s a reason for the world
You and I

Picked up my kid from school today
Did you learn anything ‘Cause’ in the world today
You can’t live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me

He said
Dad, I’m big, but we’re smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well, we’re nothing at all
Still every mother’s child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me

And, hey, dad
Here’s a riddle for you
Find the answer
There’s a reason for the world
You and I

I said
Son, for all I’ve told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world
Who am I?

There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we’re not wise enough to see

He said
You looking for a clue
I love you FREE

The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel’s eyes
A song plays on while the moon is high over me
Something comes over me

I guess we’re big, and I guess we’re small
If you think about it, man, you know we got it all
‘Cause we’re all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely

Here’s a riddle for you
Find the answer
There’s a reason for the world
You and I