@Dannydan

So, if I understand what happened, you resolved things and made piece with your ex mate and your ex. But you didn’t want anything beyond that, and now your ex mate wants to make amends and retrieve your relationship but with that will come the ex gf too. You did not want that, and you spoke with ‘B’ and she was was eager for you to make amends and “let bygones be bygones”. In the moment you  accused her of trying to control who is part of your circle, which she quite rightly took offense to. And now she is mad.

It’s hard to me to say who I think was the first one to cross a line.. I think you have a right to decide who will be a part of your circle. You can talk to B, listen her advice, think.. but it’s your choice in the end. I don’t know how eager she was for you to make amends, was she just suggesting, or was she pushing you a bit? Also, were you mad when you told that sentence, did you do that in anger, snap on her?

I’m not sure if you only made a mistake, or if she did too.. What I think, it’s that if you continue friendship or not with your ex mate and your ex, it’s your choice. You don’t have to do it because of B, you should do how you feel. Listen to her advice, take it seriously, but only you know how you will feel and you should decide. Personally, I understand your view.

I’m not sure how much was B pushing, was she just suggesting in a nice manner, giving advice… The sentence you said it’s not nice to hear, and if you said it in anger it’s worse… I see from your posts that you feel blame. I’m not sure if you are only one to blame, but maybe you are. How mad she is now? Two days have past I think..

I think you should have a talk with her. Tell her how you feel. Apologise for your sentence. Yes, you did a mistake. But people do that in relationships. I think fights can happen, and will, it’s unavoidable. But two people in a relationship have to listen each other, why did they do something they did. Yes, you said something that was not nice, and you maybe said it in anger, and you should apologize. From what you wrote, I don’t think you did something unforgivable. So I agree with Jay, give her time and when it’s time communicate how you feel in a calm manner. And be really sincere with her about everythiny, and about how sorry you are.

Also, whewer you decide about your ex mate… I don’t think you should decide based on thig fight with B. If you accept it only because of her, and you don’t really want that yourself, you will resent it.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Rhaenys.