Dear TeaK

Thank you once again for replying me and giving me ur thoughts.

The swallowing problem started when i was a child, as a child i was lazy to eat.. and one day my maid who spoon feeds me forces me to eat and swallow, then i vomit.. which leads me to have swallowing problems till now. After than incident, i used to eat only porridge… until at age of 7 i found a way to aid me swallowing, which is by drinking water in every time i need to swallow.

My dad is slightly taller than me, like only 3cm and my mother is short.. she’s 5 feet only. But still there are my friends who has shorter parents than mine… ended being taller than me… it doesnt make sense… if everything is fair i should be taller than them.

And recently i feel so frustrated again, i meet a boy who’s still in junior highschool.. he used to be short and now he’s taller than me… which leads my brain to that frustrated thoughts again (why am i left behind, why do i being surpassed again… and i cant do anything about it). I remember this boys’ father is shorter than my dad.

And yeah you’re right i have insecurities… but back then when most boys and me are about the same height… i seldom feel insecure.. like i can enjoy life… until highschool starts and every boys get so tall and im in the same height as most girls… that day my insecurity came… it develops till now… right now i feel so afraid going to anyone’s house as i have to walk barefoot, as i cant fake my height.. because when i go out i always wear sandals/shoes which has thick soles

Yeah you’re right, i attached my self esteem with height. I would do anything to grow 5cm… like really anything. I wish i can show my feelings to people, as this height makes me feel so terrible. I just wish that i have anything in average, like average height, average looks…

I know this sounds weird but, if i was born with this height, why didnt god make me a women, as this height is average for women…

You said this:

“However, if you could attach your self-esteem to something else rather than your height – you’d suddenly have a number of possibilities how to feel better about yourself. Your situation wouldn’t seem so hopeless any more.

If you could say to yourself: I am good enough and lovable and amazing and special – just the way I am – life could be so much better.“

=yeah i’ve been trying to solve this issue for years but i still cant solve it, i only can distract it… but the distraction will always fail.

The part that makes this issue difficult to solve for me is because it’s “irreversible”.