Dear Boris1010,

you’re welcome, and it’s Tee-Kay 🙂

I’ve been wanting to mention your marriage, because that’s what you’re left with and what you’re living every day… Your relationship with your wife is important and I wonder if you’d like to talk a bit more about it.

You’ve said you got married at the age of 19, that you were quite immature for marriage, and that in your 30s you stopped drinking. Which means that you’ve been drinking at the time you got married and in the first more than a decade of your marriage. But your wife tolerated it? Or you were in the navy and not so much at home in those first years? Was it your wife who forced you to quit drinking in your 30s?

After you quit drinking, you became clinically depressed and numb, a little like a robot. Is it then that your wife started having affairs with other men? How come she never wanted to leave you? What do you think you provided for her? Security? She must also have a feeling of superiority, always mentioning your past transgressions, as if she herself didn’t have any. And you have a sense of inferiority, believing you’re hollow, cannot think straight, cannot trust your judgment etc etc… So the two of you are a match in that sense. As long as you feel inferior, she’ll be bringing it up and reminding you how flawed you are indeed…

If you’d like to talk a bit more about how your marriage got to be the way it is, please do so, it might turn out helpful.