Dear noname:

Welcome back to your thread, good to read from you again!

“I’m trying to put some distance between the intensity of the belief I’m unlovable and my ‘self'”- seeing that there is a part of you that is capable of believing otherwise.

“someone who sometimes feels unlovable..  someone who can also feel lovable.. watch (the unlovable part) without becoming it” – no longer being one (no space) with the unlovable belief, no longer overly identifying with it. There is a part of you that does not have to submit to that belief forevermore.

“I just didn’t fully understand how to call on the part of me that can help”- when a part of you can help, you are no longer helpless.

“My therapist has pointed out to me many times that I need to be in relationship with the ‘I’m not good enough’ part of me.. instead of.. to cast it aside…  it has taken me this long to understand the non-duality of those parts of me… need to (not) over identify with either. My hope is that when I’m feeling not good enough, I can remind myself the good enough part of myself is still there”-

To break the hold that all-or-nothing/ duality thinking has on you, it will be difficult to practice feeling lovable when you feel unlovable, so better practice this first: when you feel confident for whatever reason- remind yourself of the part that does not feel confident. When you feel powerful, remind yourself of the part that feels weak and helpless. Start practice duality this way, is what I suggest.

And please do post again anytime.

anita