Dear kleineBlumealleine:

In your message before last, you wrote that you were “feeling a bit manipulated” by this man. I think that he has manipulated you a lot, not just a bit. There is a lot of manipulation in telling you: “last time you didnt talk to me I was so depressed, they wanted me to be admitted to the hospital because I almost killed myself”.

From what you shared, I don’t see any basis in reality for you to feel guilty in regard to this man. Your feeling of guilt in regard to him probably extends from your feeling of guilt regarding your parents. You shared in May 31 this year that your parents pushed you “into this role of the unthankful, cold child.. I feel guilty: it is somehow tempting to believe they are right and I just have to fix myself to have a loving family”.

You wrote back then: “Luckily I am in a good place: I have a loving boyfriend (5years), good friends, a home and a steady job”, but the guilt carried on, and this married man triggers it. Is my understanding correct?

anita