Dear AP:

“Surely if she was satisfied in her relationship she wouldn’t need me or my kids in her life“- no one is completely satisfied with most everything, especially with relationships. Who hasn’t grown up with a significant lack at home, as a child? Whatever was lacking there.. can’t be fully satisfied in the context of adulthood.. so as adults, we keep wanting something that isn’t there.

“Why am I engaging with her? Is it to control? Is it to win her back?“- I am guessing that you are engaging with her for the same-old-same-old reason we all engage with others, in the context of romantic relationships: to love and be loved in return (there’s a song with that title).

“2 years she was gone and it was like she died and I grieved… And then she came back and I rejoiced“- the hope of love makes us joyful.

“I am scared to push her away completely by starting to demand things from her like inner peace“- there is a big difference between asking and demanding. I suggest that you ask her, not demand of her (I can help you with the language of asking vs demanding).

“there is a part of me that (as much as this limbo hurts) feels like I got my soul mate back even if it is just a sniff.. does any of what I am saying make sense or am I just rambling lol xx“- it makes perfect sense to me, I can’t think of anything that makes more sense. Like I said before, we all want to love and be loved in return. The idea of love- when we don’t have it- feels magical, heavenly, doesn’t it?

anita