Dear Linarra:

“Having empathy for her costs too much“- having empathy for her costs you your mental health. When the deer has empathy for the mountain lion, it costs the deer its life.

“it didn’t make her a better person to have mine“- she used your empathy against you.

“So she doesn’t deserve it“- she uses your empathy to keep her power over you. A deer feeling empathy for the lion will not run or fight the lion, not wanting to.. hurt the lion’s feelings or prevent the lion from satisfying its hunger.

“She claims she protect us so strongly… she keeps imposing her harmful ‘protection‘”- the lion protects the deer from the wolf because if the wolf eats the deer, guess who’s going to stay hungry?

“Yesterday, I was still a bit worried about our connection (only slightly), so I didn’t allow myself to feel warm like other times you showed affection. When it comes to affection, I have a ‘proceed with caution’ system… Other than these times, I very much appreciate affection and I don’t believe I have specific negative triggers. If you have some, please tell me so I can be mindful of them“-

– I am cautious too, we have this in common. Historically, I felt uncomfortable giving and/ or receiving affection, but I am getting more comfortable with it. Still awkward though. So, I’ll express it once in a while, not in every post.

anita