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Reply To: Need some advice, as im so frustrated

HomeForumsTough TimesNeed some advice, as im so frustratedReply To: Need some advice, as im so frustrated

#385545
Tee
Participant

Dear Felix,

I feel worried back then, as if i go to japan… most of my friends/peers are gonna graduate earlier than me…. And i dont wanna be left out…. Then i chose to continue my degree in that city…. So i’m going to graduate at the same time with my peers. It was a really bad decision…. I was really affected by my peers…

I feel like i cant forgive my peers, it’s been lots of days since i talk to any of my friends….

Now i curse everybody who took part in my decision on choosing the wrong degree, also to anyone who used to support me with that girl….

You are blaming your peers for “making”you choose a less than optimal degree, when the reality is that you decided not to go to Japan because you didn’t want to graduate later than your peers. And you were afraid to live alone back then because you were only 18 (but i’m still afraid back then to live alone… i was only 18.) So it was your decision, based on objective and subjective reasons back then. Blaming others makes no sense and won’t help you.

We’ve already spoken about healthy and unhealthy regret, I’ve explained the difference (you can go back and re-read that). What you’re doing now is unhealthy regret, leading you nowhere. You are either blaming yourself or your peers for decisions you made long ago. Those decisions weren’t horrible or irreversible, because you’re still young and if you want a better degree, you can still get it. You haven’t done something that will impact the rest of your life – everything you desire is still within your reach. If you want to. But if you keep wasting your time on regret and hating either yourself or others, you won’t be able to move forward, you’ll be stuck. Exactly as your saboteur would want it…

The choice is yours, Felix – do you want to be stuck or you want to go after your dreams?