Hey E. I really really recommend checking out Susan Elliot’s booking “Getting Past Your Breakup” and the adjacent blog. It has changed my entire life and made getting through my breakup so much easier. Specifically the article about Emotions of Grief after a Breakup. Also Natalie Lu’s Baggage Reclaim is an amazing blog. I used to lay in bed in the dark crying and found that reading these made me feel a lot less alone. A lot more connected. It reminded me that other people had felt the way I had and survived, that I probably could to.
It helped me understand how I felt about the breakup and also how I felt about my ex (not how I thought I did, but how I actually did)
I’m here if you need to talk, but in closing i REALLY REALLY REALLY recommend going No Contact with your ex, if that’s possible for you. This is the first breakup (and there have been several rough ones) I have ever managed to really go non-contact and it’s made it so so much easier. But I also know that it’s the hardest thing in the world. I have stumbled a few times.