Dear Ashmitha,

Everyone around him says he is a really caring person and a great guy, and in my head I’m like why wouldn’t I want to be with someone like that?

From what you shared here, he hasn’t been a caring person towards you. We’ve explored all that before. You’re now again questioning yourself instead of realizing that you are not the problem, but he is.

I like being pursued by a man and not vice-versa, which may be an ego issue on my part.

You just want the guy to show interest in you beyond sex. It’s not an ego issue on your part but a normal expectation.

I’m just bad at being vulnerable and letting my walls down out of fear of being hurt.

You have been vulnerable with him, you told him what you need from him, you opened up. What was his reaction? First, he said it’s better you break up because he isn’t mature enough. Now he has introduced a couple of phone calls into your weekly routine. Anything else beyond that? How did he change compared to how he was before the breakup?

Dear Ashmitha, you’re blaming yourself again, as if something is wrong with you for not being able to be happy with this guy. As I said, nothing is wrong with you. But you don’t believe it, and I think it’s because the inner child tells you differently. The child always blames themselves when the parent doesn’t love them. What I believe is happening now is that the little girl in you is blaming herself for not being lovable enough…