Hi Anita,

I’d like to say thank you again, and for such a detailed response.

This site wouldn’t be what it is without you. And thank you for that.

I guess a trouble with feelings is, one never knows if they are valid or not. When I experience them I double guess myself. Maybe they’re the result of my internal filter and experiences and they don’t really fit in with the “objective” reality, if there is such a thing even. One never knows if one is truly fair to others or if one response’s are skewed. As humans we respond subjectively, seems like it. So I never know how subjective I might be in a moment, especially if there are any feelings involved.

Regarding your question, he knows I had a back injury post c-section though I’m not sure we discussed re-injury or what that means to me. Though to be honest I’m asking myself if I’d feel about this any differently had I had no back injury in the past. I think I’d feel about this the same.

To be honest I don’t even want to go anymore. I think it’s just going to be awkward sooner rather than later. If I don’t go, I’ll feel guilty. It’s too late. We made plans. The flight is early Saturday.

Things get so complicated sometimes. But I brought this upon myself and I acknowledge that.

Ava