Dear Shoob:

You are welcome and good to read back from you! I am glad to read that your thoughts about your height are “a little bit less frequent“. I think that it’s excellent that you read “Buddhism/ stoic teachings“, and aiming at the following: “I’m trying to reduce my desire of wanting respect/love from others“.

Paraphrased, the First Noble Truth identifies the presence of suffering in our lives, physical and mental, and the Second  identifies Desire (which cannot be satisfied),  and Ignorance to be at the root of mental suffering. Clearly at 26, your desire to be taller cannot be satisfied, neither can the desire to be respected and loved by everyone (and often, not even the desire to be respected and loved by a single person who does not… can be satisfied).

Ignorance means to not see people and situations as they truly are. I think that what you may not see is in this sentence from your original post: “How can I start to love myself unconditionally..?”-

Most likely, if your parents were the major figures in your life as a child, they loved you conditionally (as most parents do), fueling your current obsession with your height. It’s your brain reasoning something like this: oh, it must be my height the reason why I wasn’t loved unconditionally… or is it? (and to answer the latter you google celebs’ heights, measure yourself and compare).

* Although your identification of  “height dysmorphia/OCD)” being what you suffer from read true to me (a non-professional), from having experienced body dysmorphia and OCD myself, for many years,  I know that these labels, although true and useful to me, do not identify the root cause of my personal lifetime suffering. I imagine that this is true to you too, and that the root cause of your suffering is likely to be .. conditional love early on and onward (?)

“How are you Anita and how is your mental health at the moment? Any highlights/lowlights you would like to share or goals you are striving for? Also out of curiosity, do you meditate“- (1) I am fine, thank you, continuing to engage in my own mental/ emotional healing. It’s been extremely slow on tiny buddha where I’ve done much of my healing, so this takes some adjustment on my part,  (2) I am currently getting to feel more of how I felt as a child and a teenager, and this makes me less afraid. I am feeling more alive, more of a part of life itself rather than an exception, (3)  I no longer listen to guided meditations nor do meditate as part of any established practice,

anita

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