Hi Anita,

Thank you for replying, and my current living situation is much better now. I’m now living with my mother and step father and my biological father is basically out of my life. As of school I’ve already graduated from high school so right now I’m just taking a break. I’m happy where I am living but lately I’ve been going through those feelings I stated in my first post. Right now in this waking moment all I can think about is my ex boyfriend. I feel as though I just need to touch him in order to remember why I loved him in the first place but I’m afraid that even if I do get the chance to hold him again I’d just confuse myself again and I wouldn’t know what I want. I know that I want to heal and better myself as a person but I also want him. I’ve let go the one thing that I’ve always wanted and I’m starting to get scared that I’ll probably never get him back. Even though he said he’d wait for me and he’d hope I find my way back to him, I’m scared that I wont find my way back in time and that I’ll lose the one good thing that has happened to me in my miserable life. I feel numb to everything but pain and regret is still there and it hurts so much. I feel like all I want to do is cry but I cant cry, I’m just stuck in this miserable hole and the only thing that was helping me not fall further in the hole was my ex boyfriend. He was there, he tried so hard to remind me that he loved me. He reassured me, loved me, sent me flowers, sent me food, everything a person would ever want in a great man, but I now feel like I stupidly let him go. I feel like I still need him in my life now but I broke up with him because I thought it was going to end both of our pain but now for me its so much worse. I don’t know about him and I don’t know if he’d keep his words but I’d do anything to have him again. I’m just scared that he wouldn’t love me the same anymore but if I truly think about it, I wouldn’t love me the sane either.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Ken.