2 year update. I broke things off with my ex, the one who I was going to marry. I had a bad drinking problem and he played a big part in that and now I’m happy and almost 2 years sober!

The other one, that I wrote this about, the one I had to cut off many times wouldn’t let me go. He would reach out all the time periodically like couple times a month or so, after my relationship ended him and I would briefly meet for hook ups like usual. He’d tell me things how he likes me or wanted to be with me but I look at actions more then words and I felt his actions said otherwise..

recently he confessed his love for me and said he wanted to marry me and for us to have kids. Talking about how he’s adored me for 8 years and wants us to be together and he’s scared to get hurt again and hopes that I really love him too and want to commit and be together because he has doubts?

hes a big drinker and that’s something I draw a boundary with but he thinks that I can help him cut back..  Long story short, he was drinking that night and I’m unsure of if those were his real feelings or if he was just in a fantasy world because his actions now are mostly silence. We haven’t talked really in 4 days. When I’d be drunk I would be able to express what I felt deep down, so I’m not sure if he made this up or if he genuinely feels this way. I just feel sick to my stomach and sad because he could’ve just said all of that to get what he wanted.

Im trying to keep the “it is what it is” mindset but my mind keeps coming back to everything he said and looking at how he’s been acting towards me.