Hello again,

That’s a complicated question for me. I’d say it isn’t wrong however I felt/feel a responsibility to my sister. I feel as though I betrayed her by leaving her with my mom and aunt. I thought things might get better for everyone there if I weren’t around anymore. I stopped talking to my mom for a year.

I found out later on that my mom and aunt still didn’t treat my sister the best (verbally and emotionally) and that my sister even felt resentment towards me for leaving. She doesn’t hold onto it anymore but for a long time, she did. After I told my dad about everything that had happened in that house, he told me I ‘left my sister there’.

My dad once said he was ‘glad’ I was so protective over my sister. He said that in reference to me protecting her from him.

I remember feeling the tension rise as I heard him and my sister playing together; inevitably she’d be ‘too sassy’ (a line that was never clarified) and he’d yell and hit her. Play to abuse to play again. Nothing he did or said was talked about or acknowledged. He’d go on as normal and everything would flatline until it happened again.

I hated that tension and I felt resentment towards my sister for continually trying despite her being hurt by him. I felt upset towards myself for being unable to protect her, for fear I’d also be hurt.

I think it was both. They mistreated my sister and I and we mistreated them in response. I spoke in anger to them about their parenting and thought I should have a say in it. They disagreed and took strong offense to me even suggesting I have a voice in the household.

They didn’t act justifiably, no. I didn’t raise my hand to hurt anyone. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone and to stop trying to mold me into the shapes they wanted me to be in.

I was hit because I came downstairs to protect my sister from my mom. They got into an argument. My sister said she hated her and my mom yelled that she hated her back. Then she threw a cup of soda in my sister’s face. I walked down the stairs and asked my mom if she was proud of herself. My aunt got up from the table and demanded I leave. I refused and removed my arm from my aunt’s hold. Then she started slapping me back and forth till I was backed up by the television a few feet away. The attention was off my sister and onto me.

However I was familiar with the feeling of tension rising and I knew my aunt would hit me again for lesser reasons next time. So, I decided to leave and I justified leaving my sister with the belief that they’d be better off without me around.

But, I’m regretful I didn’t know better. I’m regretful of the choices I made. Maybe I didn’t deserve it and maybe it wasn’t my fault, but I didn’t make it any better. I probably made it worse.