Dear Melissa:

“Please don’t send me abuse. I just want a safe place” – no abuse here. I am not here to abuse you or anyone. I want you to have a safe place here, so please keep posting here.

“A lot of the family / friends at the party weekend didn’t realise he had a girlfriend…  just wanna say that before anyone says my family are terrible people or anything like that… We never text each other before anyone says something we don’t do that.” – it seems like you keep expecting people to abuse you, to criticise you or your family (saying that they are horrible people). I think that you grew up with lots of negative criticism (and abuse perhaps), and you keep expecting it from people (?)

“When it was just myself and him walking he kissed me and said his always liked me and that he wants to marry me one day but he wants to do some growing up first” – sounds like what he told you was a mixture of truth (I figure he likes you in one way or another) and bul**** talk (I doubt that following the drinking party he’s been thinking about marrying you or about embarking on an emotional growth journey).

“I feel awful this has happened I would never kiss a man who has a girlfriend that’s just not who I am at all but obviously everyone was drinking and there’s definitely been some sort of spark there between us for a while. What should I do moving forward?” – nothing, I say. Nothing much happened but two kisses and one hug (?). I think that you are blowing things out of proportion.

“He then tried adding me on Instagram which I left pending for a few days till I declined… because you never know I may meet a nice man that could upset him… Hopefully I did the right thing by doing that?” – yes, I think that you did the right thing. You are very considerate of the nice man you are yet to meet!

anita