Dear kaia:

On June 28, a bit over two weeks ago, you shared that you dated your boyfriend for almost 8 months (Dec 2021-June 2022), and then the visit-from-hell (as I call it) happened: his flight to you got delayed, he couldn’t get a connecting flight, he cancelled his flight and got a new one, the new flight got cancelled, he waited for 4 hours in line to book yet another flight, and overall he was delayed 12 hours at the airport. He finally got on a plane and you picked him up at the airport. The next day he was sick with covid, and quarantined in your room, had a panic attack, shaking, couldn’t catch his breath, throwing up, said he wanted to go back home.

He told you “I have these thoughts, that I don’t like about us breaking up, but we are okay”, “I think I a falling out f love with you”, “I love us and I never wanted to break your heart”, “I feel empty, nothing feels good right now, and my brain doesn’t feel like my own”, “I want to feel normal again”. On the way to the airport to go back home, he got a text that his flight was cancelled. He then sobbed and told you: “I want to break up… no, idk what I want”. He finally got on a plane and was gone.

Today, two weeks later, you posted an update, more of what he recently told you: “I miss you, I miss us”, “I feel nothing towards you right now”, I want a hug”, “my pretty girl”, “I won the jackpot”, and the day before yesterday, he told you: “I don’t think I was every satisfied in our relationship in terms of reassurance”, etc.

When I replied to you earlier today, before I reviewed your June 28 post, I suggested that he was cruel to you at times. Now I think that he has been mentally unwell for a while, particularly since the bad, bad visit. I think that he is so emotionally unstable that he is not able to be in a relationship. I am sorry for your hurt. I think you lost him due to mental illness.

anita