Dear Pop:

You shared about your first boyfriend: “At first, we were amazing, we had chemistry and I thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him“, but later: “He used to tell me that I will die alone with my cats if he won’t marry me, and that I do not deserve everything I think I am” –  your in-love feelings for him misled you as to the reality of who the man really was and what life with him was likely to be. You felt that he was the one… but he wasn’t.

Your new boyfriend: “He is everything I have ever hoped and dreamed for… I felt he is my soulmate“- maybe seeing that your feelings misled  you about the former boyfriend, you are afraid that you can no longer trust your feelings… that maybe even though it feels that he is your soulmate, he is not?

“After a month when someone reminded me that I have gotten into a relationship too soon after breaking up I felt a void and suddenly all my feelings were gone“- seems like following your troubled relationship with your former boyfriend,  you lost trust in the ability of your feelings to indicate what is true, the Void being your lost trust.

“I have moments when I feel more in love with him than ever and others when I can’t say I miss him because it is not true. I haven’t experienced this kind of mixed feelings before, and I don’t know what to do… Is it possible that I am too scared, and stressed that the confusion will come back that I don’t let my true feeling come through?“- seems to me that following your troubled 7-years relationship, you lost trust in your feelings of being in-love. Therefore, without being aware of it, you “chose” to not feel in-love feelings for your new boyfriend. Next, you panic when you notice that your in-love feelings for him are gone.

Does this seem true to you?

anita