Dear Tara:

Good to read back from you!!!

Less than two months ago, in June 19, 2002, you wrote: “As I have been staying at my parents’ house nothing too horrible has happened, but my mother still tends to complain about my father and her relationship with him constantly. Another thing is my father also tends to have small angry outbursts when little things don’t go his way. I always go into my room to escape the anger, though it’s not directed at me, I hate the cussing and yelling and screaming over the smallest little inconveniences in his day”-

– today, you wrote: “Throughout my life, my mother has always been unsupportive and extremely judgmental of any relations I have had with males…my mother (said) .. that I quote ‘need therapy’“- well, based on what you shared (paragraph above), I judge her relationship with a particular male (your father) as unhealthy and dysfunctional and I think that your mother needs therapy.

“I work two jobs and am going to college, always on time to work and always passing my classes with flying colors“- this means that you are functional while living in your parents’ dysfunctional home.

“Do you think I need to wait till she realizes the silent treatment is immature and damaging to our relationship?“- no point in waiting for as long as forever.

“I feel as if it meant absolutely nothing to her that I reached out to try and be honest. I am unsure of what to do, and would like to know if I am in the wrong? Should I try to apologize again?“- I don’t think that you are in the wrong, and I don’t think there is any point in you trying to establish an honest, deep communication with your mother. I think that having a casual, superficial relationship with your mother (and father) is best, a relationship that is as pleasant as ca be under the circumstances. If it takes apologizing to her to make your life in her home a bit more pleasant- apologize.

It would be best for you to not live in your parents’ home, but I understand how difficult the financial aspect can be.

anita