helcat,

thank you so much for your advice. i’m a work in progress and trying my best to move past the incident. i had been living in that state of heightened stress for days and it was definitely not healthy.

i’m learning how to forgive myself. this experience has taught me to be a more forgiving and understanding person, especially to those around me. i’m not perfect and i need to realize i will fall short of my expectations sometimes.

you’re right when you say there will be ups and downs. today, i feel is an up day. but there’s still some down moments. i guess only time will help heal and work through this.

it’s been helpful to remind myself that i’m not a terrible person because i did one terrible thing. i love my partner and i’m going to actively work towards that priority.

thank you and anita for all your help…the journey of self forgiveness is not easy.