Hi Tee

Thank you for your reply. Yeah I shut down because when i got back from the bathroom a woman was hitting on him insisting on buying him a drink he talked with her then sshifted his attention back to me and another colleague (he wasn’t nervous asking my female colleague to have a drink after work but was with me, so much that he avoided eye contact and messed up his coffee, didn’t look at me before i had said yes to joining) I had what i now know is an emotional flashback (I got diagnosed with Complex PTSD last oktober) i psnicked oh I must have misunderstood him, he didn’t mean anything by it) i completly shut down and pushed him away for a week before returning to my baseline. Then he shut down. And I thought I had ruin my chance. We got back on track but he was still doing all the work in seeking my company and looking at me a lot, i was afraid of looking back because my anxiety gets so bad that if i look at him he would know i like him and then i will get rejected. I push people closes to me away when i get triggered had he or anyone else asked me if i liked him i would have lied and said no in order to protect myself and give myself a sense of control. You can’t reject me if i reject you first. I see a lot of myself and my patterns in him. We both have anxiety childhood trauma and a disorder that makes relationships hard. Especially when he is moving abroad next year. I gave an update to Anita would like to hear your opinion on all of this