Dear Eric:

You are welcome. “I still hesitate whether I should confess or not…. we’ve been close for 2.5 months, is it enough? Am I being too quick on confessing? Will it be a wrong move?… I don’t plan to get married that soon, I feel like it’s still too early for me“- what exactly do you mean by confessing: what  specifically will you say to her when you confess?

“I’m worried that if I’m in a relationship, there’s a chance I could gain an ‘ex-girlfriend’. One of the reasons why she felt safe going out with me for the first time is because I told her that time that I’ve never been in a relationship. So there’s no ex-girlfriend“- I think that what you mean by this is that if you marry her, you will never have an ex-girlfriend, and you want to have the experience of having an ex-girlfriend. Did I understand correctly?

“If she feels anxiety about me going back to my ex-crush, then why would she use those kind of words? It’s like she’s supporting the idea of going back to ex-crushes, that’s what makes me overthink that she’d like to go back to her old crush“- it reads to me that you are suspicious of her, suspicious that while she is dating you, she is planning on going  back to her old crush (based only on the one comment she made, which you shared about). Do I understand correctly? And if so, do you feel angry at her sometimes?

“She also told me that she’s worried that her personality might change if she’s in a relationship later on because she’s never been in a relationship. She’s worried that she might get angry easily, being more possessive and etc. And also I have a temperament personality when I get pressured, I also easily get annoyed. If I get annoyed, I don’t feel like talking to that person“- it’s a good thing that the two of you talked about the important topic of anger. Mismanaged anger destroys many relationships, so better be aware of it and work together to (1) decide what behaviors are acceptable and what behaviors are not acceptable to each one of you when it comes to anger, (2) communicate effectively and resolve conflicts peacefully.

I will wait for your answers to my questions (the questions in the first 3 paragraphs of this post) before I reply to the second of your two recent posts.

anita