Dear Katrine,

I think seeing him as a friend would be best for me. That’s basically what I did with the guy I as with earlier this year, seeing him as a friend not an x lover made it way easier for me. It’s not my fault and I should not beat myself up for asking a guy out. It’s another opportunity to grow right?

I am loving your attitude! Yes, there was nothing wrong asking him on a date, specially since he showed all this interest. You took the initiative and tried to speed things up a little, so that you don’t stay in a limbo for too long. You did well! You didn’t know he would reject you, after showing all this interest. So…. don’t blame yourself for asking him out, for trying something which looked promising, but because of his limitations or confusion, didn’t work out.

What’s important is that you did well, you did what your heart told you, you were courageous, you stepped out of your comfort zone, and you expressed your feelings in spite of being afraid. That’s a huge step!

So be proud of yourself, Katrine, for reaching out and showing yourself, rather than retreating into your shell. Once again: well done, Katrine!

Thoughts aren’t facts, so just because I feel rejected doesn’t necessary mean that I AM being rejected. Y asked me last week that we need to go out for drinks and it felt good to hear that, and today we settle on a day to do just that, I think that it will be good for me. And I will write X tomorrow and ask how she is doing, and from the looks of her Instagram stories it looks like she is having a really good time.

That’s fantastic. I am so glad that you’re in touch with both X and Y, and don’t have resentments towards them. I am also glad that Y actually reached out to you – which means she is interested in your company. She didn’t have to reach out, but she did. So notice that and perhaps register it as a new thought: “People are actually interested in hanging out with me. People like my company.”

If you say this to yourself, how does it feel?

Celebrating my birthday (as an adult) alone with my parents and their friends so extremely painful. Like your supposed to celebrate that day with friends, and I haven’t suceeded in that too much in my life, hence the reason I get really anxious at this time of year.

I understand… you’ve never celebrated New Year’s – which is also your birthday – with your friends, because you didn’t have close friends with whom to celebrate it. You’ve always felt excluded and rejected. Last year it hurt so much because your best friend bailed out on you when her boyfriend changed his mind. That only confirmed your belief that nobody cares about you, that you’re not important to anyone.

But I am thinking that this year should be the Year of New Beginnings. Because now you know that those false beliefs are really false, that they aren’t reality. As you yourself so eloquently put it: “Thoughts aren’t facts, so just because I feel rejected doesn’t necessary mean that I AM being rejected.”

If you approach this New Year Eve’s celebrations with this new thought in mind – with this new attitude that people actually enjoy your company and appreciate you – how would you want to spend it? Where? With whom?

Maybe your preference is neither your parents’ house nor some crazy club party, but something else. Can you envision your perfect New Year’s Eve celebration?