Dear humour,

My mother is very supportive when I am down but I also stand up for myself if there is unreasonable blaming etc.

So she does blame you sometimes? What is she blaming you for, if I may ask?

It could be that your mother needs you as her care-taker, so when you’re down, she wants to make you feel better, and that’s why she is supportive. However, her motive might be to cheer you up, so you can take care of her again.

But when you have needs of your own, she might be blaming you for those needs? She might be supportive conditionally – only when it suits her. Is that what your dynamics look like?