Dear MisunderstoodAutistic:

Yes, I do have the tendency to assume and pass judgment, something that I have been improving about myself quite successfully, but I have more work to do. I am sorry that you feel judged and I admit that it seems to me that you’ve been unfair to your sister. By suggesting it previously, and trying to talk with you about it, my hope was that maybe your relationship with her will improve as a result, and that your life will be easier for it.

Regarding your diagnosis, I am glad that you took advantage of the opportunity to correct my misunderstanding of what it means to be autistic, as well as the opportunity to correct possible misunderstandings of anyone reading your thread.

You wrote: “Autism is a disability not a mental health diagnosis“-

– although Autism spectrum disorder is listed in the current American Diagnostic Statistical and Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), a handbook used by healthcare professionals to diagnose mental health conditions,  autism is classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder.

“developmental disorders and mental illnesses are defined, treated, and managed very differently…. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), a developmental disability is “a severe, long-term disability that can affect cognitive ability, physical functioning, or both. These disabilities appear before age 22 and are likely to be lifelong. The term ‘developmental disability’ encompasses intellectual disability but also includes physical disabilities.” (very well health. com).

“She deliberately had (hot water) turned off and cut off“- I didn’t understand this earlier. It is cruel to do this, especially during the winter!

“Are you saying that laziness is a mental health illness?“-  if one’s laziness is so acute that it leads to a severely dysfunctional life, then I’d say the person suffers from a mental illness of some sort.

“She didn’t acknowledge my illness.. instead she got angry with me“- you shared that you were diagnosed last year at the age of 38, and it seems like much of the reason you had a severe falling out with your sister is that she didn’t acknowledge your autism. How was your relationship with her before your diagnosis?

If you choose to not answer me, that’s fine, I understand, and hope that perhaps another member will communicate with you more successfully.

anita