Dear Joanna:

I like reading your first sentence, that I make everything seem so okay and simple. I hope to do more of that!

“I never lash out at people angrily, but I do feel this anger sometimes.. Also, this ‘splitting’.. symptoms that I think I used to have/ are not that intense, like: Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors, Unstable relationships, Fear of abandonment”

hey sigmund. com: “Almost everyone is afraid of anger because we are not taught how to express it properly. Anger is simply one of many emotions. It is neither good nor bad…The only thing negative about anger are the consequences involved if you deal with your anger inappropriately by lashing out and yelling at people or breaking things or turn it in on yourself… One of the ways to deal with anger issues is to learn and practice assertiveness… so… you can express yourself in a rational manner and, hopefully, be heard by the people with whom you are interacting with.  It can alleviate some of the feelings of helplessness a person can feel in an intimate relationship.

“The other way to learn to deal with anger is to learn conflict negotiation skills. This is not for the faint of heart because it requires you to look closely at both sides of an argument and figure out what you really want…  Another reason that a person may be afraid of anger is because they fear retaliation from the other person… But the bottom line is that conflict is found in every single relationship be it an interpersonal one or a work relationship. So, it is imperative that we learn how to approach conflict so that it can be productive and not confrontational. A third way is to learn anxiety reduction techniques such a mindfulness meditation”.

I like the above quotes, do you?

anita