<p style=”text-align: left;”>I mentioned to her I noticed that she rolls over and goes quiet when she is in a sad state, I also told her I realise that sometimes she death stares me with a blank face when she is upset/angry. This stare almost seems like a switch to me. when I mentioned this i think it started the events later in the night. She started saying she had a feeling that I was cheating on her even though I wasn’t. She said she knew I wasn’t but it was a feeling and she didn’t know why her head was telling her that. She then did as I explained and rolled over and bottled everything up. After trying to get her to talk she said to me why should I tell you about my anxiety when I don’t tell her mine (I mentioned I was anxious for the first time in a while however I didn’t know the exact cause).

There were comments I made sometimes and actions I did that she felt like I wasn’t showing her enough love. For example not sitting next to her one time, telling her I shouldn’t trust her directions when we go travelling as she makes many wrong turns. Nothing that seemed major to me. She felt like I was bringing her down not up at times and I always reassured her after she told her this isn’t true and I do make stupid comments at times but it isn’t me trying to hold her down.</p>
She had sexual trauma and would occasionally get pseudo seizures. By looking into the details I think there was times she believed I may have triggered her trauma and seizures and it was her body telling her we weren’t right together. As I said I was always actively changing ways to avoid triggering this. I would apologize to her every time and ask what I can do.

Okay I will change my wording within the letter. Honestly my poem I wrote is pretty full on as it is about her. It is just about her needing too spread her own wings and fly but I am here on a rainy day if she needs a guide basically.

I appreciate your words Tee you are helping me through this a lot.