Hey Tee

When I first met her I wasn’t actually smoking and she was. However I soon followed her habits. I think she did feel guilty about this earlier on in the relationship. I think my smoking was maybe once or twice the reason for her leaving but besides that it always seemed like a different reason just never anything concrete to me.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>Im not sure of the actual reason she got triggered. I think it was me pointing out that she has certain things she does when upset. Like the rolling over and bottling everything up.  She told me she left because she keeps having feelings or leaving and just didn’t see it working out and she needs time and space for heal on her own. That’s why im so shocked she in already on a dating app. seemed like a bit of a cop out to me.

No the choke happened once and never again. We didn’t have our differences about the future at all that’s what is so confusing to me. We were both on the same page when talking about kids marriage etc we both knew we wanted it one day.</p>
My anxiety probably did make it harder for her as when I was needing her she wasn’t there for me, similar to now even though I would be willing to be there for her even as support.

Once I stopped smoking I felt great I was more vigilant and just energetic always laughing with her etc. it was a good change for me and the relationship it just wasn’t the real problem deep down.

Yeh I probably wasn’t very considerate during my first couple relationships. They would definitely frustrate me a lot with their own problems which is harsh to say. However this girl was different as I actually want to help her and be there for her.

I am glad overall I cut down smoking but I just feel abandoned and disrespected now. I feel like I was lied to and she wasn’t honest or open with me at all.