Anita,

Another thought came to my mind. I was proud of myself for “forgiving” both of my parents, was this infact not forgiveness and just telling Hatch to be quiet? one of the reasons I wanted to choose this “forgiveness” is because I did not want to hold a grudge on my parents, I wanted to love them and feel loved by them. Will directing this anger back to my dad make me resentful and harden my heart? I wonder the difference between parents just being human and then seriously messing up enough to deserve their child turning their back on them. My partner has told me he admires how I forgive my parents and can have a friendship with them after all that has been done. He doesn’t understand why his sister of 32 years old won’t speak to her parents at all. She tells N they traumatized her in more ways than one but when N relays the information to me he doesn’t understand why she chooses to do this. I think I now understand her more. But fear it will distance me from N because I think his hatchling is purposely kept at 5% volume level. and I think he is proud of it, as I was when I was able to actually enjoy my dad and “forgive.”

I know this is alot, and I hope I am not overwhelming you? I am having some very real revelations within myself through this and am so excited to reach this new level of awareness I feel I have been waiting for for the past year!

Sending appreciation,

Seaturtle