Dear Anita,

After reading your reply yesterday, it made me take a harsh and objective look at my situation. At first I wanted to make sure that I was not just deciding in order to keep you in my life, I wanted to make sure the decision came to me. It did. I am ready to get rid of this poison in my life. It will be hard but I would love nothing more than to have your support, in a breakup plan and occasional journaling on here. I decided yesterday late evening about 3 hours after reading your reply, going back and forth about what was real and not real about the dinner discussion. I wanted to end it last night but the timing didn’t work, I have plans to do so at 5:30pm tonight, about 7 hours from now.

I told my roommate, M, and she said she will be there for me through this. I went to hot yoga this morning to get even more clear, thankfully I was able to get good sleep last night, aside from waking up with a headache, probably grinding my teeth in the night. I want to grow and handle this separation as healthily as possible, enough of my energy has been sucked away in trying to get the rose tinted goggles off my face, for this person. I am sad to lose a friend. I am going home to see my sister’s dance performance on Saturday and the timing couldn’t be better, as well as seeing family from the 20th-26th for Christmas.

If you would like to start helping me with a breakup plan it would be greatly appreciated, I have been preparing for this end for a long time, in a way, this whole past year, in moving out and also deciding to have a roommate incase this happened and I needed support. I have also written some affirmations already about how to not let myself go down intrusive thought paths.

Seaturtle and hatchling