Dear Anita,

I’m glad to hear that’s the feeling i’m on about! I feel comforted to know I’ve not just been a bit delusional!

what you mentioned about love within the family is really interesting.

 It’s an intense and enduring love that when betrayed injures a child’s heart. The child feels this injury intensely, but over time represses it and.. forgets, in a way, becomes numb to it, or indifferent. Or angry. Fast forward, the child is a teenager or a young adult, and his or her negative experience with love is a huge part of one’s long-term romantic love life-experience. – this is fascinating to me. i never considered different types of love and how they link together. thats certainly a huge factor that impacts the way we all view things like this isn’t it.

Yes you’re absolutely correct Boy 1 had a bad experience with it all and was certainly closed off. i think although my new boyfriend has also had a bad experience with a past girlfriend, hes much more of a ‘Lover’ by nature. I get the impression from him that (like me) he would rather put his heart on the line and get hurt than never at all.  a wonderful trait i think.

the expansion of a contracted, guarded heart is a very delicate process and needs to be treated with outmost respect. This reminds me of a nature movie I saw long ago, that of a male black spider approaching a female spider, cautiously, slowly, one step at a time, so that she does not mistaken him for a prey, an insect to consume. – that’s fascinating. I think you’re right, i’d never thought of it like this. you can’t rush these things can you. good things come to those who wait or something! I do need to be nice and steady with my new boyfriend for this kind of reason. it’s hard sometimes but i’ve always followed my head so when my heart gets involved its important to remember my values of rationality. being young i think its easy for us to get carried away!

And Okay, good point. ill leave that bit. i suppose theres no need for me to bring it up really unless theres something directly relevant.

i shall carry this motto with me. ‘be patient with your heart and his’ i like this. thank you so so much for your advice its amazingly helpful! Very wise words 🙂

I’m going to be more considerate to my own and his feelings. Hopefully i can soon let my heart let him in fully. I can be a bit of a control freak with my own emotions, i don’t always let myself feel them, which is maybe why im panicking a bit about the start of a ‘love feeling’. I’ve always been the kind of ‘therapist’ friend because  I’m pretty black and white in general which i think people need and appreciate sometimes, i’m never jumping to conclusions or being crazy. Emotions don’t always work this way do they though. Especially as my new boyfriend is really in touch with his emotions (which is great) its fascinating to interact with people who think so differently to me.

– Renn