Hi Adam,

lovely to hear from you again!

There is definitely a lot less pressure in this relationship which I like. She is in a similar position – likes where things are going and happy to see where it leads

Okay, so she seems interested in a long-term, committed relationship, possibly ending in marriage? Have you talked about marriage, kids and the possible time frame for that?

I do find myself trying to leave the door open for deeper discussions a lot and she doesn’t really seem to want to engage in that. This is probably my only red flag I’ve noticed … eventually things will need to be spoken about, like exes etc.

recently I have just felt like I don’t fully connect with people even though I do try too, conversations can be hard at times.

It seems you would like to talk about your feelings more (perhaps even about how you felt with your ex), but she isn’t open to that? Do you feel that you can’t really share if you are upset about someone or something, because she doesn’t seem to be  interested? Like, she doesn’t show empathy or even a willingness to listen?

So maybe you would like to connect on a deeper level with her, as your special person, but she isn’t very receptive?

I find myself wanting to go back into a comfort zone of just smoking weed and being by myself. Not sure what the reason behind it is though.

I can understand that not being seen and understood – not being able to share emotional intimacy – can be hurtful for you. And so that would trigger the need to self-medicate with weed.

I encourage you to acknowledge the need for emotional intimacy as a legitimate need. So your need is not bad. But perhaps she is not able to partake in that kind of intimacy? Maybe she is afraid of emotional vulnerability?

When you talk with her, is she a happy-go-lucky person, who doesn’t want to talk about “heavier” topics, and so you feel she can’t understand you and empathize with you?